I'll Be Honest, This Is A Tough Look For Saugus

Listen, I love Saugus. I’m not one of those people who says that they can’t wait to leave their hometown in the dust and speaks negatively of the locals after they move on. I’m a Saugus guy ’til I die. I look forward to Townie Drinking Night more than I look forward to my own birthday. It’s a beautiful little town. I mean, you’ve got Kowloon, Hockey Town, Hooters, The Red Roof Inn, The Saugus Ironworks, Saugus Center, Cliftondale, George’s Barbershop (the oldest barbershop in the country), and then you’ve got the Square One Mall.

It’s a piece of shit mall, but it’s OUR piece of shit mall. Sure, the parking lot is littered with dirty needles from all the junkies that hang out at the bus stop, but inside that building resides a lifetime of memories. I used to go Trick or Treating at the Square One Mall, I annually go Christmas shopping and have panic attacks at the Square One Mall, and back in middle school, “going out” was simply getting dropped off by your mom at the Square One Mall to walk around with your boys.

All that being said, this is a tough look. If you’re gonna misspell “SANTA” at a shopping mall during Christmas time, the absolute last combination of letters that you want to incorrectly throw out there would be S-A-T-A-N. Nothing puts a damper on my holiday cheer quite like Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness. Christmas is a religious holiday, sure, but it’s supposed to be about Santa, elves, reindeer, presents, Christmas music and all that other awesome stuff, not burning in eternal hell fire for the rest of eternity. Just kills the vibes.

UPDATE: The official stance of the Square One Mall is that this is a photoshopped picture. That’s what I would say, too, if I were a satanic mall.